Hello world, let me start out by saying I died, or maybe I’m dying until I’m fully reborn. There is a catharsis that we all tend to go through, and mine has been ongoing. None of this happens rapidly. It takes time, although time is not something I have much of. I had to travel. I had to suffer. I had to continue to experience, what I thought I endured enough of my entire life: pain.
Much of my old self-had to die. I will not lie, I still hold onto pieces of my past. Fearful of letting go, not because of how someone will perceive me but questioning how do I survive in this world. Under the circumstances of the present law, how do I adapt to the challenges and constant change, when goals that I’ve set for myself remain unchecked. I do acknowledge how wide my eyes were in expecting different results as long as I did my “small” part in cooperating quietly in the current structure of this society. The beauty of a blog site is the journey; like life, lessons learned every step of the way, if one is paying attention to the rules that are in place.
I needed to reflect on what was written, pondering where my mentality was and how I felt during my previous postings. My personal life, serving as the compass, navigating my hand as I typed. I will not change or delete what I previously wrote. I admittedly question my naïvete; some of it, amateurish in both material and the writing. Now forever in the ethos that is the internet, it all creates a larger story of content. I am not ashamed of any of it, just unfulfilled because as a writer/ blogger you never get it right, you only strive to get better. I still travel when possible, steadfast in the belief that this world remains beautiful, knowing remarkable kind-hearted people are all around. Unfortunately, there are those who exist solely with the intention to send it into mass destruction, as It would please them watching people descend into a subjugated fearful hysteria.
I am not one of those people as I don’t expect you to be either. So if you’re reading this (and I thank you), please take a moment to understand me.
Your mental state can assist with this descent into a paranoia of no return. Possibly by design, perhaps by choice. Your mind can also attribute to greater possibilities; this is all up to you. It is of my opinion that one must remain cognizant of an inherited reality; not of what has been asked for but what it actually is. They owe it to themselves as well as those that seek their guidance, to maintain a resolve, sustaining an upward mobility in personal and professional achievements.
We are creatures that love to hunt, yearn to explore; we consistently seek to acquire new experiences. I realize now more than ever that you are doing a disservice to yourself if you do not take each day as an opportunity to learn. Persistent in that which you desire most. You nor I cannot expect to change someone that Is not interested in evolving. What we can do is improve ourselves to reach greater heights. We must surround ourselves with positive energy, genuine people, that understand life’s blessings and aim to be pillars of success and happiness.
How are we susceptible to negativity?
Our media is a 24/7 apparatus of volatile adversarial discourse. Feeding our insecurities, feeding our anxieties, supplying the dark spaces of our mind with an agenda of separation. Hypocrisy being the teat we enjoy going back to suckle from. Journalist directed to publish what is popular not what is truthful. Ratings and dollars continue to orchestrate who gets to preach their gospel of misdirection. We as a collective have taken a laissez-faire stance on looking for objective, unbiased journalism. Instead, we’ve decided to go into personal bubbles for our news, reinforcing misconceptions. The people -all of the people- at home and abroad must hold our news sources to speak from a center of truth, not terror.
Understand, we all have a narrative, a point that we are trying to get across, no one is absolved from that. It is of your best interest to ask what is this person trying to sell me. Have I learned something, or gained knowledge that may have been dormant or nonexistent? There is no progress when two or more panel experts are shouting at each other on TV. This lack of decorum has subversive effects on the viewer. Entertainment even in its most absurd in my opinion should educate. Not to create more angst but to enlighten. We need to be diligent in turning our backs on this form of programming.
Politically it is known that 2016 was filled with negative campaign ads because that’s what many wanted to see. Ask yourself; after the election, the drama continued because we craved this or is it what the media fed us? The president, of the divided states of America, claims to have everyone figured out. He has tapped into that bottomless well: of fear, scapegoating, hatred and delusional divine righteousness to lead America back into prominence. My question is-education aside- when was America not the leader or majority in anything? Look, Racism is real; oppression is real, bigotry, social injustice, police brutality, all of these things are abnormal human behaviors that pits one against the other. But this division only serves the purpose of an agenda rooted in supremacy, and those willing to do anything to retain it. Truthfully, the liberties of all people are divested by the few; it just tends to affect some more than others. It is by choice, to use each of us as pawns. All of us suffer from these inequalities, and it is up to all of us to collectively turn off from these diversions. This is where I had to turn off from such distractions, at minimum regain a balance in my life and well-being.
Taking Control of that which you choose to be.
Are you an active participant in destruction or building? Do you want to forge relationships or relish in chaos? Who do you want to be? My ongoing battle resides in knowing the reality of what is in front of me and making an effort to push through with a mindset of seeking fortune through happiness, and monetary stability. Having the ability to see the world is a privilege and blessing. Enjoyment of the arts, love, and finances matter to me. Meeting those who are realistically grounded in acquiring a better economic standing but have not lost their relationship with the energy around them is a quest that I seek to accomplish.
How will I leave an imprint small or large that resonates with those who both know me best and have yet to meet me? Action, purpose, responsibility. Not taking anything for granted. Be the hero you dream of. Be the champion of change you long to come. It starts with an honest self-examination, exploration, and desire to surround yourself with do’ers not complainers. Solutionist that tries to enact reform that everyone can benefit from. Of course, we all need money, we all must obtain money, but WE the people make the money the money should not make us. This Is how attention seeking, relishing in foolish behavior gets the most views on Instagram and other social networks. Being the most outlandish in the room will continue to drive the narrative: as long as I have all of this money. To maximize my dollars, I’m willing to do anything for it: lie, steal, cheat, or kill. That is not us, that is not me, that is not you.
My journey, in this upside down world, is ongoing. I’ve taken a long hiatus of posting, for a variety of reasons but I never stopped researching, refining, learning, writing, reflecting to seek out how can I improve myself. I might have dampened the momentum I was gaining in reaching more people growing a base of like-minded life lovers, success seekers, poets, authors, and artist. But I will work to keep building, as there are no simple roads to growth. No one gains a title in their field of study, and the learning process stops, you don’t hit a specific age where all of it makes immediate sense, but there is something magical with the aging process if you pay attention. It is never too late to learn a new trick or two. The fruit of knowledge is the power of maximizing your investments, the skill of listening and mastering your abilities. These are tangible goods that we must continue to obtain. I am confident that my old self-had to die. I just don’t know if the process is complete yet.
This is the end of side A. Please turn over to side B.